• 2006-08-10

    we don't have to be moved to be moved

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    http://www.blogbus.com/danecao-logs/3022243.html

    We don't have to be moved to be Moved....

    By Dane Cao

    Get bewildered by the title huh?

    Here is the story:This noon I watch a documentary program on CCTV news channel,entitled "To Forgo".It's about this youngman in China's southwestern Yunnan province(a world-famous tourism resort best known for Shangri-La) who chose to forgo other kind-hearted people's offer of assistance for him to go to college when he decided he had received enough of it and tried to divert the offers that keeps pouring in to other kids in need.It' something highly respectable and sure is touching.Not for the act per se,but for the context from which it stands out;Times have changed.Money is everything.But this kid stick to the old value system:to embrace kind assistance with gratification,enjoyment and gratitude.and what's more,he acquired the all-too-rare "pay-it-forward" mentality,never forgetting to try and help those who is also in need,even when he is barely better off.I admit,I was overwhelmed with emotions when I watched this,especically when I heard that his family has been heavily in debt in order to pay his and his sister's tuition fees over the past few years,which makes the outside donations all the more enticing.Even his parents relented.But the kid wouldn't budge.For once,When I see a guy refuse monetary aid,I didn't call him a lunatic.This time,I look like one.His unselfishness and stoicism  most assuredly put my self-centredness and greed to shame.

       But My reason was not in full retreat.'put it into perspective",I remind myself.Keep an open mind about this issue.Think further out and broadly and try to get the big picture.

      Try to get the big one I DID.Only then did I realize there're a lot of unsettling messages in that show than I previously thought.What that kid did is truly exemplary and outstanding,but why there're still many offers pouring in even after he made it clear that he had plodded through his hard times and needed no further outside aid?(A college located in TianJin China has offered to waiver the four-year tuition fees for him if he chooes to go there,where he did go;And a middle-aged woman in Shanghai asked to offer him 300 RMB each month to cover his meals and lodging expenses,which he also accepted).After watching the program and being moved myself,I venture to suggest that the kid KNEW HOW TO draw SYMPATHY.Not like he could help it.He is just that way,FORTUNATELY.The way he looks,the way he carries himself,how he packed each sentence with emotions and sentiment,how he show effusively his gratitude,all of these help to project an image of a polite,soft-spoken,driven and dedicated youngman,on whom the philanthropic investment seems to be a wise one to anyone.So in short,he is natural human catalyst for human sympathy.When he add respectableness(which is inspired by his refusal of other monetary offers and cordial introductio of other kids in need) to that already-strong sympathy,People tend to react with outpouring of compassion,which most conveniently takes the from of finantial aid.

      There's nothing wrong with this of course.To quote a potential donor whose offer has been preempted,'it's still such a good thing that there're so many people out there trying to help you out".But the unsettling thing is,we seem to have given the money because we are moved,which amounts to tossing coins into the clown's hat after a circus show.Only in that case,Whole-heated laughter takes the place of heart-breaking pity in this case.And it is not right.We lend our hand because someone might need our help,and we might make their lives earsier and livable.We offer our help not because someone has put on a wonderful show,wittingly or unwittingly,which happens to play to human's primitive sympathies.Our kind-hearted donations shall not be a thinly-veiled "admission fee" or tips or something of that calibre,but rather the genuine token of our care and concern for those deprived and underprivileged,of our love of human dignity.

         Again in this regard,the 'actor" of this show leads by example.As I earlier mentioned,he tried to divert those "misplaced" donations to other kids who are crying for help but unfortunate enough not to have been noticed and pitied.He is literally telling everybody who liked to show their ability to shed tears more than their capability to give love,thank you for your concern for me,I now need you to show true love,which shall be boundless and earmarked,to the ones who need it the most.This bold suggestion he made,of all things,is the reason why I am truly moved,I finally realized.This lesson for HELPERS has come from the person we least expect it to come from-the HELPED.An irony,but a very constructive irony.

       we renounce favortism in politics,in workplace,in marketplace.But we don't realize in some cause as noble as showing love and giving help.we let it slip.We rush to try to help a single "truly pitiable" victim,but fail to reach out to a vast number of other disadvantaged out there.Not see the forest for the trees,as they say.

         Love is blind.How I wish it was...

          

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